Sunday, April 29, 2012

Celebration Time - Come on!

Yeah, baby!  It's a celebration!  I reached not one, but two milestones this week - so after a month of whining and complaining, I have a lot to be grateful for today!

First - I finally passed the 30 pound milestone - as of this am - I am down 31 pounds.  The last 10 have been hard fought - my body is adjusting to the new eating plan and the exercise, so I have to eat smarter and work harder now.  And keeping the motivation has been super challenging - because, well, basically I am a lazy butt and would really rather eat chocolate and watch TV.  It's the truth - but I am changing and that is something I can feel in myself that cannot be measured by a scale.  I bought myself a new pair of pants - size 18 - which while still awfully large to some, is a size I have not worn in a very long time and I am super glad to finally be outta the 20's!!!

The other milestone was running the TC10K.  This was a a big emotional milestone for me - because even though I had run it before, I really, really, deep down want to be a runner - even though I find the training tough and it seems like a really big ass goal.

I had pretty much given up on the thought of running it, as I had signed up in January and hadn't really done as much run training as I wanted to do.  That, coupled with a nasty bout of bronchitis that has knocked me off my feet for two weeks ( I was finally cleared to exercise as of yesterday!) felt like the TC10K just wasn't gonna happen this year for me.

But with the amazing support from my gang at BDHQ, the best playlist ever courtesy of Hannah Green, and the continual encouragement of the one and only Lovisa, I was able to complete the 10K this morning.

It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't fast, and I didn't run every step of the way.  It went more like this:

Starting Line:    What the hell am I doing here and where is my coffee?

Kilometer 1:      Woohoo - I am rockstar!  Look at me BDHQers - I am running the TC10K

Kilometer 2:       I found my groove - I can do this!

Kilometer 3:       Whose idea was this?

Kilometer 4:       I could be sleeping right now, instead of sweating like a pig.

Kilometer 5:       Halfway and I haven't puked - yippee!

Kilometer 6:       Your encouragement is awesome, Lovisa, now please shut up and just let me walk.

Kilometer 7:        View?  What view?  I am busy dying here, and yes, I know Terry                      
                            Fox ran a marathon every day on one leg - I am not Terry Fox  I am far too lazy
                            and  self centred and sorry for myself to be Terry Fox.  Yes, I see the Terry Fox
                            memorial.  It's awesome, no really, it is.

Kilometer 8:         Just finish.  You just have to finish.

Kilometer 9:         I may actually finish.  And I am bloody well gonna sprint the last block - it's go     
                             time!   Check me out everyone!

Kilometer 10:      Holy crap - I just ran 10K - Woohoo - I am a rockstar - I am awesome -
                                                                    I am a runner.

I feel amazing - I never would have believed a few months ago that I would be running again, that I would be minus pounds and inches and plus better health and a renewed sense of of accomplishment and belief in myself.   So, yes, I am celebrating - bring on the ice and the Epsom Salts - we got a party going on right here, and it feels great!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

She's like the wind. . .

Or at least a light breeze.  I started running again.  For realz, as Ben would say.  Actual one foot in front of the other, pounding on pavement, wearing tights kinda running.  I know - scary!

It's been a while since I last hit the road.  I first started running when we moved here from Alberta.  I was still in the honeymoon phase of loving the rainy ( not snowy) winter and figured, why not start running?  It helped that I was a stay at home mom to four kids 7 and under and knew almost no one.  It was a social thing.  A prevent me from becoming a sociopath thing.  So I started running by joining a TC10K clinic.

I discovered I kinda liked the whole running thing.  I liked how it made me feel, how I could just think, and run and ache and no one bugged me.  I loved how, well, FREE I felt.  It was fun. 

So I kept running for about 2 years, until my running partners got pregnant and had kids of their own, and I started working outside the home and we somehow all got busy and stopped running.  But I secretly missed it - even as my weight ballooned and the thought of putting on my shoes and hitting the trails seemed like a distant memory.

I am running again.  It's harder this time - I am 8 years older, heavier, and I have a bit of an attitude ( I know - hard to believe, right???!!!)  In my head, I am a runner - my body begs to differ.

I am pretty sure there is nothing quite so unattractive as an, ahem - "woman of substance" in running tights looking like she is trying to catch up with the ice cream truck that left her behind.  Hair wet with sweat ( like a rainstorm that hit only me), red faced and probably about to have a heart attack ( I'm not, really, I am just fine!), jiggling and bouncing along ( yes, I spent the money on a big girl bra - Oprah was right - it was worth every penny)  I am not as graceful, or as pretty or as powerful as most of the runners out there.  And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

When I hit the trail for the first time in a very long time, it felt, well, pretty great.  I remembered that sense of freedom and play and joy, and even though my muscles screamed in agony with pretty much every step, I remembered why I liked it.  And even when I got home and later in the day could hardly move from the agony of using muscles that hadn't been used in that way for a long time, I still remembered why I like it.  My hips hurt, my knees ached, my quads complained - a lot.  But it wasn't as bad as when I started before.  My fitness has improved - I don't huff and puff as much as I did just a few months ago, and I am recovering pretty quickly - my muscles must be remembering, too.  That is a good thing, because I have a feeling they are about to get quite a workout over the next few months.

I will definitely have a 10K in my future, and I am even looking down the road at, dare I say it out loud - a half marathon.  Now that is a scary goal. I have wanted to do one for a really long time, but I never until now believed that it may actually be possible.  Now I believe.  So I guess it is about time I did it.  For realz.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Waitin' on the groove train

Has anyone seen my groove?  Because I am pretty sure I have lost it.  Lately I have been floundering a bit, and my motivation, along with my groove appears to have disappeared. 
Since I reached my 25 pound milestone, I seem to be a bit of a slacker.  Life has been super busy, and apparently in my little weight loss world busy gives me sufficient excuse to start to ease off a bit on my workouts and begin to not be quite so tight with my food.  Hence the groove loss.Basically, I am a pretty lazy person - I have to work at getting my butt out of bed to go to workouts. And while I always feel amazing after I am done, I cannot honestly say that I leap out of bed every morning shouting "I get to work out today!"  More like "what the hell am I doing up this early wearing form fitting clothing in public??"  So losing my rhythm means its just that much harder to get myself to workouts.  And that is not good.

As for the eating, well, it is surprising simple to slip in bites of this and a taste of that, especially the things that are on my "avoid at all costs because I have no will power against any type of COBS bread" list.  They seem like small things, but they all add up to a slowed weight loss and a shrinking commitment to eat clean all day, everyday. 

Last Monday I started a new program at BDHQ called Biggest Winners.  It is a 12 week program that is group based and includes classes and coaching and nutrition support - another amazing opportunity.  I have to admit to finding it hard to shift gears into a group setting, but I am hoping it will help me refocus and recommit to the lifestyle I want and need to get healthy and stay that way! 

Maintaining this lifestyle transformation over the long haul is going to be tough, but frankly I am tougher.  I have to be. ( That's my story and I am sticking to it!)  I am going to be successful - groove or no groove.  But if you happen to find that groove of mine along YOUR way - please send it MY way - I need all the help I can get!