Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sticks and Stones . . .

Let me start with a warning - I will definitely be using some unkind words in this post.  If that offends you, then stop reading right now and go back to Pinterest!

Someone (who I would love to name because she is a total idiot, and the world should know it) asked me the following question today:

"Are you disappointed that you haven't lost more weight? - I mean I would have thought you would have lost at least 50 pounds by now - why do you keep doing it when you aren't getting results?"

Whoosh - the sound of my exhale after basically being hit in the stomach.  Thanks so much - your support and encouragement are very much appreciated - NOT!  I was actually speechless - and for those of you who know me, you know that this is an occurrence which happens about as frequently as hell freezing over.  To my utter disgust, my eyes welled up and I just had to walk away - straight to the washroom to try and pull myself together.  All of a sudden I was once again the fat woman in the mirror - out of shape, depressed, and completely lacking in self confidence.  The power of hurtful words is incredible.

How do I respond to a comment like that - loaded as it was with criticism and disrespect?   What I wanted to say was:  "Are you disappointed that you are still such a bitch?  I mean, I would have thought that you would have found some respect and compassion - why do you keep being mean when it does such damage?"  But I didn't - the queen of the snappy comeback had no comeback today.

I have spent a lot of years feeling as though I am not enough - not skinny enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, or sexy enough, or, or, or. . .  It is a really miserable place to live and it impacted every area of my life for a good part of my life.  I am so happy that I don't live there anymore, that I have moved on from that negative place to a place of confidence and happiness. At least most of the time.

Am I disappointed I haven't lost at least 50 pounds - well it would be nice, but I didn't put the pounds on in 4 months, so I don't expect to lose them in 4 months.  Anything worth doing takes time.  And I am mostly happy with my progress - I look and feel a lot different from this crabby person:

I have worked out harder than I ever have, I am learning to eat to fuel my body instead of cope with my emotions, and last week I ran a 10K.  I wasn't the fastest - but I finished:

Check out the 10K evidence here!

Two days ago I registered to run a half marathon in October - a HALF MARATHON, people! 

I never, ever would have believed I would be doing any of this 4 months ago - these are the results that matter to me - and I am damn proud of my "lack of progress".

So in answer to the rude question of the day - why do I do this? 

That's the kinda progress I am talking about.  So watch your back, rude person - my legs are strong from kicking so much ass!


Annet said...

Oh wow, that is just incredibly awful!! I so would've cried too, and I'm guessing/hoping she didn't know what she was really saying. I am also super glad that you are stronger than believing that and that your comment about how long it took to put on vs take off is totally the right attitude.

I think shows like Biggest Loser and then products like shakes and bypass surgeries have started to train folks that weight loss can be super fast, so its the new norm or something. Except they forget how many of those folks put it all back on again later - because it wasn't sustainable, healthy choices, moving more type of weight loss. It was about numbers and getting it done and then in a year going "shit, how did I get back here".

You, my friend, are in a much better place than that. And HOLY, a 1/2 marathon?! EEK, I'm contemplating that for september, now I'll really have to lift my game to keep up!!


JammeR said...

Good evening,

You need back up? who is this "lady"...she needs a reality check, and I'm sure she doesn't have many close friends if shes like this all the time, so move on and enjoy the people who love and respect you for YOU, we don't need people like her bringing us down!

I love you Auntie, you are an amazing person and I have nothing but great past times and great memories of my lovely auntie. I have thought for many years you were comfortable with yourself and how you spread your love and cheerfulness in this crazy world, you were always the happiest and most positive woman...its hard to hear a "friend" say such harsh words but in the end you have a beautiful family, my cousins are spectacular and all around your a great, beautiful, and shining light in many people eyes. I think most of your peers feel the exact same way.

About the dreadful comment, 1,2,3,4 or 50 lbs a month, take your time and keep on trucking, just keep working at it, I'm not in the position to know but we all have it in us to WIN, so just be happy with any results you ran 10k i would probably have a heart attack, so be happy.

Anyway my 2 cents

Jessica said...

You are amazing. You look amazing. You have come so, so far. And excuse my words, but F*%K THAT BITCH. What a journey this has been and will be in the weeks and months ahead. I couldn't have imagined being beside greater people then you and John and of course our BDHQ family. Just remember that we know your successes and that's all that matter. Perhaps a prayer should be said for this lady, since she obviously cannot empathize or put herself in your shoes on this difficult but amazing journey. And can I mention, who cares what the scale's about how you feel.

You ROCK!!!! And a half marathon......are we crazyyyyyyyy?!?!?

Annet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SusieJ said...

OMG...I too am speechless. The "lady" (I use the term loosely..."b***h" would be more appropriate) needs a good kick up the backside.
You are doing sooooo well....a 10k run and a half marathon next??? Amazing have have come so far...
Ignore the naysayers and just keep on keeping on.
You are a fab-u-lous woman.
Hugs xx

mow180 said...

Please don't let this negative person bring you down.
You are an amazing person on an amazing life changing journey.
I wish I had your strength of purpose.

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