Monday, September 9, 2013

Oh my aching. . .

This getting healthy thing is a pain in the ass.  Don't get me wrong, I want to do this, and I definitely need to do this, but I had kinda forgotten that it is actually a lot of work! It requires planning and forethought, not exactly my superpowers ( those tend to be more in the areas of BS detecting and identifying the sketch factor in the boyfriends of the lovely women I work with.  But I digress. . .)

Case in point, I now have to actually THINK about what food I put in my mouth  - no more random snacks and mindless ( and carefree!) eating.  I also have to find the appropriate balance between being mindful and being a crazy psycho woman who is addicted to the food tracker on my crapberry.  There IS a happy medium, I am sure of it.  Now to find it. . .

I also am back to packing my lunch, rather than using the "I don't have a lunch" excuse to eat those tasty treats of the devil known as french fries.  This also means I have to actually THINK (there's that word again!) about what I want for lunch and prepare it in advance!  No more excuses.  Sigh.

And then there is the little thing called exercise - in my cutesy moments I call it "Fitting in Fitness", which pretty much makes me want to throw up.  I do need to figure out how to fit it in - so easy to give it a pass at the end of the day and mornings are pretty challenging.  I am currently walking at lunch.  Grudgingly, very grudgingly.  ( I am still pouting that I cannot run, but that is a story for another post. . you are welcome!)

I am slowly improving - not perfect by any stretch, but I am getting back in the rhythm of living a healthier lifestyle.  Yes, it is indeed a pain in my rather large butt, however, it is always better to be sore from doing something, instead of nothing!  At least that is my story, and I am sticking to it!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Happy New Year. . .

Fall is a time for new beginnings.  The changing leaves, the start of school, the return to routine after a carefree summer - all of these signal a time of renewal for me, even more so that the actual new year, or even the newness of spring.  I am need of a fresh start, and now is as good a time as any, and perhaps the perfect time.

I admit it, I have been struggling.  Trying to stay positive, pretending not to notice how tight my clothes have become, how the effects of prednisone are revealing themselves in my ever expanding body, feeling defeated, and sore and tired.  SO very tired.  I hate feeling this way.  I don't like pasting on a smile and pretending that things will all be well, when deep inside I feel as though they will never again be truly "well".  I hate being that miserable, sorry for herself fat chick that doesn't exercise and eats to hide her feelings.  Been there, done that.  It's time for a change.  A fresh start.  Refocus.

So, I am back blogging.  It is a start.  It helps me stay focused on getting healthy.  I talked with a dietitian today, who politely pointed out that I am clearly overeating, and that only some of the weight gain can be attributed to drugs.  Damn her honesty!  She is right, and helped me to identify areas that need changes, and we began to design a path to make that happen.  Aquafit beckons.  I need to pull up my (very!) big girl panties and join the old gals at the pool.  And move a bit more everyday, even if I still hurt, even thought the multitude of medications I am taking (5 for RA, see below) aren't quite working just yet. They will.  I have to trust that.  And if they don't, I will have to try something else.

So Happy New Year!  Thanks for hanging in with me during the season of misery.  Hopefully, my humour will return when I get my ass off the couch.  Maybe you want to join me - a fresh start is always a good thing - a return to a fitness routine lost through the summer, or back to healthy eating after a summer of treats.  Maybe you want to quit smoking - why wait til January?  It is a new year today - let's start today.  I will if you will.

Now I am off to toast the New Year with a glass of something sparkling, that may or may not be champagne.  I am not telling!