Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Happy New Year. . .

Fall is a time for new beginnings.  The changing leaves, the start of school, the return to routine after a carefree summer - all of these signal a time of renewal for me, even more so that the actual new year, or even the newness of spring.  I am need of a fresh start, and now is as good a time as any, and perhaps the perfect time.

I admit it, I have been struggling.  Trying to stay positive, pretending not to notice how tight my clothes have become, how the effects of prednisone are revealing themselves in my ever expanding body, feeling defeated, and sore and tired.  SO very tired.  I hate feeling this way.  I don't like pasting on a smile and pretending that things will all be well, when deep inside I feel as though they will never again be truly "well".  I hate being that miserable, sorry for herself fat chick that doesn't exercise and eats to hide her feelings.  Been there, done that.  It's time for a change.  A fresh start.  Refocus.

So, I am back blogging.  It is a start.  It helps me stay focused on getting healthy.  I talked with a dietitian today, who politely pointed out that I am clearly overeating, and that only some of the weight gain can be attributed to drugs.  Damn her honesty!  She is right, and helped me to identify areas that need changes, and we began to design a path to make that happen.  Aquafit beckons.  I need to pull up my (very!) big girl panties and join the old gals at the pool.  And move a bit more everyday, even if I still hurt, even thought the multitude of medications I am taking (5 for RA, see below) aren't quite working just yet. They will.  I have to trust that.  And if they don't, I will have to try something else.

So Happy New Year!  Thanks for hanging in with me during the season of misery.  Hopefully, my humour will return when I get my ass off the couch.  Maybe you want to join me - a fresh start is always a good thing - a return to a fitness routine lost through the summer, or back to healthy eating after a summer of treats.  Maybe you want to quit smoking - why wait til January?  It is a new year today - let's start today.  I will if you will.

Now I am off to toast the New Year with a glass of something sparkling, that may or may not be champagne.  I am not telling!


Robbyn said...

I've missed you, friend! Glad to see you back. Bless you on this journey and know I'm cheering ya on every step of the way!!!

Unknown said...

Jacquelin you are such a trouper! I have thought of you often over the summer as my feet were a bit swollen from the heat...I don't know how you do it! I am so glad you are getting support from a dietitian. I too have been viewing this fall as my New Year... I am retired now and have been a bit overwhelmed feeling like I should do this or that...and grieving the loss of some of the aspects associated with my teaching. I have come to the place of wanting to stay centered and at peace with myself. It feels great not to have to live up to someone else's expectations. That's what the "freedom" of retirement is beginning to mean for me. My hope for you is that you can find some sort of peace within the restrictions of your must be hard as you are so young. But perhaps the changes in your diet and some exercise is just what you need! Take care! Love you, Jacqueline

Juliann in WA said...

Yes! Fall is always a New Years feel for me. I need to get my eating plan back in order. I can tell my blood sugar is off.
I am in

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