Saturday, March 30, 2013

Happy Easter. . .

Happy Easter!  Or perhaps I should say "inappropriately Happy Easter!!  Lately, I've taken to being "inappropriately happy". I didn't even know you could be inappropriately happy - at least not until I looked up the side effects for the new medication I am on for the as yet undecided typed of arthritis I have been struggling with.  (The current thought is now Rheumatoid Arthritis- I see the rheumatologist in a few weeks - I am holding out for a weird virus or temporary something rare - rather than chronic auto immune disease)

Let's ponder that for a moment, shall we. . .  I feel like complete crap-joint pain, swelling, stiffness, fatigue beyond belief - and then I start a new medication that makes me feel, well, HUMAN, for the first time in weeks, and apparently I should be aware -  I can become inappropriately happy, as a result of taking this drug!  Thank you Captain Obvious!  This is not the side effect I am worried about, but good to let me know.  Just in case I need to dial down the happiness if it gets really out of control.

I am feeling better, I know it's somewhat temporary due primarily to the prednisone I am taking. That sh*t is powerful - and also destructive.  It eats away at bones, impairs sleep, raises blood pressure, and makes you cranky.  But, wow - it really works.  And at this point, I will take it.  Anything to have some semblance of my life back.

I am (very grudgingly) making some changes in my life.  Working less, sleeping more, practicing meditation -emphasis on the practice - "quieting my mind" may just be the hardest thing I am asked to do in a day.  I cannot put on a ball glove, which causes me a great deal of grief and sadness, but I am blessed by amazing parents who run my practices, while still allowing me to "motivate" the girls on my team with a few well placed shouts.  Running is out, and I am trying to appreciate what walking can do for my body.  I am starting  some water based exercise next week, and hoping yoga will also become a part of my regular routine.  Baby steps, really, since I still am oh-so-tired, nor completely pain free.  Life is different.

I am lucky - I have a great GP now, and a relatively quick referral to a specialist ( nothing to sneeze at in long wait time BC), and incredibly supportive circle of family, friends, church family, and colleagues.  That makes this all manageable - this is why I am inappropriately happy - and not miserable, at least most of the time.

 So a very Happy Easter to everyone - it is after all, a time for new life, renewal and hope.

And I will take that every time.


Juliann in WA said...

Just commented on the mmew class but came here to see what is up. I have joined a yoga studio to try and get a handle on the stress which is at the core of much of my physical problems and it has been wonderful. I can not feel the stress beginning and have some strategies to fight it. Hoping you find some new avenues to explore too.

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