Report Card Day!

Warning:  If you are sick of my crabby, "this is hard" posts and are looking for something a little happier and funnier - this is perhaps the time to go back to Facebook. . . .

Did you ever have the experience as kid when you were stressing out about a looming Report Card Day? As a kid I was a reallygood student, but I STILL felt nervous bringing home that envelope that would let my mom know how I was doing, and either be a source of pride or a source of frustration and disappointment - for both my mom and I.  I generally was an A student, but high school math was a source of constant misery and failure, and I dreaded report card day because I knew it would shine a light on all of the missed questions, assignments that didn't quite get completed beause I didn't ask for help to complete them, and the ( very occasional -wink wink-) skipped class.  By the time the day came around I was a wreck.  I was so glad when the days of report cards were far behind me.

I now have another report card looming before me.  I have completed 8 weeks of my program at BDHQ.  In some ways I can't believe that 8 weeks has gone by - and at other points the days seem to creep by ( this is mostly when I am at a plateau - which frankly feels like most of the last month!)  Last month I lost almost 9 pounds and about 11 inches.  This month I am actually pretty nervous about pulling out the measuring tape and getting on the scale - I don't feel as confident, and I find myself with the same feelings of anxiety and dread that I thought I had left behind in high school.

Surprisingly, I am not perfect - I know, a shock to all.  Over the past month I have made some poor food choices, missed the odd workout, and felt super frustrated with my slowing progress.  The two month report card will definitely reflect every poor choice I have made over the past month.  This sucks.  A lot.  Nothing like being held accountable - especially when I have made it my goal to make sure everybody knows what I am doing, and has great expectations for me.  This is incredibly supportive and amazing - also intimidating and terrifying - I definitely don't want to fail.

So I stepped on the scale this morning -it wasn't an F but it sure wasn't an A - or a B - or even a C.

 I have lost a big 2 pounds this month - bringing my total since starting at BDHQ to almost 11 pounds and my grand total since starting this journey to 23 pounds.  I have lost a few more inches, but it aint dramatic, let me tell you.  I have to admit - I was super disappointed.  Actually, I had a little mini meltdown - all that hard work, all my sweat, the early mornings, saying no to all those delicious things that passed my way ( well, almost all!).  Feeling discouraged doesn't quite cover it.  Crying, miserable, feeling really pitiful almost does.

Apparently, the 8 week mark is when a lot of people who make it past the 2 week mark quit.  (Does that make sense?)  I get this.  The initial "Wow - I am losing weight" has worn off, and the real work of transformation is beginning.  Sticking with it is really tough, especially when the scale is stuck, or progress seems non existent - and making good food choices and working out hard everyday is getting a little tired.  Some great advice from Michele and Dawn really helped today - and so did the support from my workout partners of the day.  I am really lucky to have such a great place to workout and learn how to live a healthy lifestyle.  And to have supportive people around me.

I will take some photos later, when I feel a little more settled, and post them to keep it real.  In the meantime, I found this, which is now posted in a highly visible spot to remind me that this a JOURNEY, and a long one at that.  One step at a time.

And I am leaving the pity party behind!